Big Happy Moment

              “Why We Can’t Wait Around for That Big Happy Moment” originally appeared on Shine, a free daily text to help you thrive.

“Many people lose the small joys in the hope for the big happiness” – Pearl S. Buck

It was a chilly evening in my cramped Brooklyn apartment, so I lit a candle and rolled out a yoga mat. I got into Child’s Pose, and, out of nowhere, I started crying. It wasn’t just a few tears I could dab away with my shirtsleeve—it was a snot-induced, ugly cry. I asked myself, “Why do I feel so unhappy?”

I think about happiness a lot, and I often wonder if I think about the emotion more than I actually feel it. On my tear-stained yoga mat, I realized that I hold out for happiness. Maybe I’ll feel it momentarily, but it’s fleeting. I’m always thinking of the bigger picture and waiting to be happy.

“I’ll feel happy when I land my dream job.”

“I’ll feel happy when I land my dream job, but what if that never happens?”

“I got the job, but why didn’t I feel happy?”

As I came out of Child’s Pose, I sat and stared into the flickering candle flame. My cat glared at me as I wiped away my salty tears. In that moment, I recognized that I had made happiness my end goal, but I didn’t bother to make it a daily goal. I was so focused on my big happiness goals that I was missing out on the little things that can make me happy right here, right now—no wait required.